Forgive and Forget

Key Points

Understanding Forgiveness

  • Forgiveness is a Decision, Not an Emotion: It's a conscious choice to release someone who has wronged you into God's hands. It's not about condoning the wrong but releasing both the offender and the offended from its hold.
  • Forgiveness Releases Both Parties: It frees the person who committed the wrong and also frees the person who was wronged from the bitterness, anger, and resentment that unforgiveness breeds.
  • Forgiveness is Not Forgetting: The sermon strongly argues that you do not need to forget in order to truly forgive. Remembering an offense does not mean you haven't forgiven. The enemy often uses these memories to bring guilt and condemnation, making people believe they are not "good Christians" if they remember past hurts.
  • Biblical Examples: Jesus saying to forgive "70 times 7" (Matthew 18:21-22) implies repeated forgiveness, which wouldn't be necessary if one simply forgot.
  • God's Forgiveness: God "chooses not to remember" our sins, but He doesn't "forget" them in the sense of a memory wipe. He is omniscient. His choice not to remember is an act of His divine will and grace.
  • Real-Life Example: The story of Gladys Staines, whose husband and two sons were burned alive, highlights that she forgave but undoubtedly remembers the tragedy. Her forgiveness allows her to continue in her calling despite the immense pain.

Unforgiveness Its Consequences

  • Roots of Bitterness and Strife: Unforgiveness is the root of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding, slander), and malice. It leads to looking for the bad in people rather than the good.
  • Hindrance to Calling and Purpose: Unforgiveness can prevent believers from stepping into God's calling and purpose for their lives.
  • Generational Impact: Unforgiveness can be passed down through generations, creating a "revengeful atmosphere" in families. * Damage to Relationship with God: Nurturing hurt and anger interferes with one's relationship with God (Matthew 6:15). If you do not forgive others, your heavenly Father will not forgive you.

Practical Aspects of Forgiveness

  • Forgiveness is Mandatory for Christians: As believers, we are called to be people of forgiveness because God, in Christ, has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:31-32).
  • Forgiveness is a Christian Virtue: It is a lifestyle to be practiced daily.
  • Forgiveness is Not Disregarding Wisdom: Remembering allows for the establishment of boundaries and precautions to prevent future harm (Proverbs 22:3). A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
  • Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: These are distinct actions.
  • Forgiveness is Mandatory: It's a decision a Christian must make immediately.
  • Reconciliation is a Process: It deals with emotions and situations and requires a change in actions, attitudes, and words from the guilty party. Trust, once lost, takes time to rebuild. Do not push for immediate reconciliation.

The Character of a Forgiving Believer

  • Put on Christ-like Qualities: As God's chosen people, we are to clothe ourselves with a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12-14). * Enduring Injustice with Good Temper: These qualities give us the power to endure injustice and unpleasantness without retaliating.
  • Unselfish Love: Beyond all these, put on unselfish love, which is the "perfect bond of unity." True love is unselfish and seeks the best for others, reducing arguments and conflicts.
  • Peace of Christ: Let the peace of Christ be the controlling factor in your heart, providing inner calm even amidst storms. This peace surpasses human understanding.
  • Self-Control for Prayer: Being sound-minded and self-controlled is crucial for effective prayer.
  • Love Covers a Multitude of Sins: Fervent and unfailing love for one another "overlooks unkindness and unselfishness" (1 Peter 4:8). Call to Action
  • Make the Choice to Forgive: Regardless of what has happened, make the deliberate choice to forgive.
  • Combat Condemnation: When memories of past hurts arise, quickly reaffirm your choice to forgive, counteracting the enemy's condemnation.
  • Live a Life that Honors Christ: Christian life is about living daily with Christ, not just chasing miracles. Our sanctification (change of attitude, heart, words, actions) is a gradual process.
  • Be Unoffendable: Strive to be a person who is not easily offended, as unforgiveness can lead one astray from God.
  • Be Ready for Christ's Return: The end times are near; be sound-minded and self-controlled, ready for the Lord's coming.
The sermon concludes with a prayer for the congregation to embrace forgiveness, walk unoffended, and allow God's love to grow in their hearts, acknowledging that there is "nobody beyond God's redemption."